Looking for a new challenge? – Retrain as a Delta Smelt

Cool smeltHelp restore one of California’s most endangered species while supporting California’s water supplies in a time of drought.

The Federal government is beginning a program for the unemployed to retrain as much-needed Delta Smelt.  Following a two-day course, candidates will learn to:

  • Seek out turbid waters
  • Spawn in sand at secret locations
  • Surf the tides
  • Make themselves present for counting in mid-water trawls

Major California water projects and water users are preparing to hire successful graduates for 1-2 year non-renewable contracts.  Minimum qualifications:Smelt 2

  • Must be shorter than three inches
  • Swim poorly
  • Smell slightly of cucumber
  • Be translucent

Occupational risks include:

  • Consumption by bass
  • Entrainment by pumps
  • Getting lost in Delta channels
  • Relocation to Southern California

As an endangered species, actual employment conditions will likely comply with State social distancing requirements.

For information, please contact: cygnusjobs-4-u.net

Smelt touch

Looking for a new career?

What do you want to do ?

About jaylund

Professor of Civil and Environmental Engineering Director, Center for Watershed Sciences University of California - Davis
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4 Responses to Looking for a new challenge? – Retrain as a Delta Smelt

  1. Pingback: Looking for a new challenge? – Retrain as a Delta Smelt - Clean Water Now

  2. Tim Moran says:

    For some reason, I find myself looking forward to this date, just to read these posts….

  3. wlntfrmr says:

    Unfortunately given the state of politics, some government official and elected will probably propose this as an answer to EDD’s problems!

  4. Ginny Cahill says:

    The hippos were my all time favorite April Fools post.

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