Help restore one of California’s most endangered species while supporting California’s water supplies in a time of drought.
The Federal government is beginning a program for the unemployed to retrain as much-needed Delta Smelt. Following a two-day course, candidates will learn to:
- Seek out turbid waters
- Spawn in sand at secret locations
- Surf the tides
- Make themselves present for counting in mid-water trawls
Major California water projects and water users are preparing to hire successful graduates for 1-2 year non-renewable contracts. Minimum qualifications:
- Must be shorter than three inches
- Swim poorly
- Smell slightly of cucumber
- Be translucent
Occupational risks include:
- Consumption by bass
- Entrainment by pumps
- Getting lost in Delta channels
- Relocation to Southern California
As an endangered species, actual employment conditions will likely comply with State social distancing requirements.
For information, please contact: cygnusjobs-4-u.net
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For some reason, I find myself looking forward to this date, just to read these posts….
Unfortunately given the state of politics, some government official and elected will probably propose this as an answer to EDD’s problems!
The hippos were my all time favorite April Fools post.